What you’ll need:

• The willingness to share a time you messed with your child

How to do it:

Find a time during the week to remind your child that you make mistakes, too. Tell (an age- and developmentally-appropriate) story of a time you made a mistake, what you learned from it, and how it shaped who you are today.

If you’d like to keep this conversation going and create more structure around it, for the next four weeks, you can make it “Mistakes Monday” and share a brief story with your child about mistakes you’ve made and learned from. It’s important that children know we’re imperfect and that we continue to show up and love ourselves unconditionally.

What you’ll need:

• Poster board, craft paper, or plain paper
• Pen/pencil/marker

How to do it:

Find a large poster board or craft paper and hang it somewhere in your house where it can be seen and celebrated. Each time someone in the family does something outside of their comfort zone, write it on the board (or do so for your child if they’re not writing yet) so it can be validated and honored.

Making mistakes happen alongside being brave and it’s important to acknowledge the courage it takes to be vulnerable and try something new!

What you’ll need:

• The courage to celebrate “failure”

How to do it:

One powerful way to normalize and celebrate mistakes in your family is to choose one day a week to talk about any mistakes you made throughout the week, how it made you feel, and what each family member learned from it.

I recommend starting with a four-week commitment and based on your child’s interest level/engagement, determining whether to extend it beyond a month or to take a break.

In this exercise, it’s important that parents take the lead and model what it looks like to openly discuss what it looks like to mess up. Invite your child/ren to share their Friday “failure,” but don’t push them if they’re not comfortable or can’t think of anything. The important thing is that they see their parents opening up and talking about what it looks like to be a messy, imperfect human who learns from their shortcomings and mistakes.

Many children grow up never learning that they are worthy of hearing, “I’m sorry.” If you haven’t already had this conversation with your child, this activity is the perfect opportunity for you to convey to them that children deserve apologies. Remind them that you make mistakes and if you ever do anything to hurt their feelings or make them feel less than, then you absolutely owe them an apology.

You can explain that learning to apologize takes practice and requires some specific ingredients for it to be successful.

What you’ll need:

• Paper
• Pencil
• Scissors

How to do it:

Before kicking off this exercise, write down the following phrases on a piece of paper (that you will soon be cutting out, so leave space between each phrase for that).

• Be sincere: I’m so sorry for (whatever you’re sorry for here)
• Acknowledge remorse/regret: I know I hurt you/your feelings and I truly regret that.
• Offer an explanation (not an excuse): I was feeling (overwhelmed, scared, annoyed, etc) and I took that out on you, and that’s not okay.
• Make changes in the future: Next time I feel that way, I will (count to 10, take a deep breath, walk outside, etc).

Cut out each phrase into squares from the paper. Next, mix them in a mixing bowl and prepare to use them for the next “Role Play” activity.

What you’ll need:

• The apology “ingredients” from the previous activity

How to do it:

Take what you learned in the “Mix Up” activity and practice what a genuine apology looks like on each other! If you happen to have puppets or stuffed animals you would rather stand in as the “actors” in this activity, that works great as well.

Now, review all those ingredients from the “Mix Up” activity with your kiddo. Offer to go first in practicing how to apologize to each other (definitely let your child go first if they are excited to do this). Make up something in your mind to apologize for.

Invite your child to “rate” your apology and offer any feedback they may have.

Then, switch turns and give your child a chance to practice on you. If they don’t want to, that’s absolutely OKAY. It’s most important that they see us modeling what it looks like first.

If you grew up receiving criticism, the silent treatment, or harsh judgment when you made a mistake, you now have the opportunity to break that cycle by EXTENDING your love – instead of withholding your love when your child makes a mistake.

What you’ll need:

• Lots of warm hugs

How to do it:

In the moment – particularly during outbursts or conflict – extending our love to our kids may feel hard or even unnatural if that’s not what we grew up with. When you’re angry or triggered, remember that your loving response in the midst of your child’s mistake will stay with them for the rest of their lives.