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raising_yourself

Your daily reminder from one of your fans (das me)

Your daily reminder from one of your fans (das me) ❤️.

You matter.
Your work matters.
Your healing matters.
I’m cheering you on every step of the way and I see how hard and beautiful and messy this work is for you. And you’re doing it. And you’re absolutely changing the world.

Tag a friend (yes you can tag yourself! ❤️) in the comments who is breaking cycles with you!

Don’t forget to check out my cycle-breaking resources at the link in my bio. The Connected Kid Collection is designed to give you the scripts, the activities, and the resources you deserve to chart a new and empowering path for your children and yourself. Link in bio or go directly to GetCKC.com

#raisingyourself #cyclebreakers #generationalhealing #innerchild #consciousparenting #connectedkidcollection

Practicing this every day. 💗 How do you soothe

Practicing this every day. 💗

How do you soothe yourself so you can better soothe your child?

#cyclebreakers #consciousparenting #innerchild #raisingyourself #reparenting

If you're anything like me, sometimes you're tempt

If you're anything like me, sometimes you're tempted to dwell on what you're getting "wrong" in parenting more than what you're getting right. But this morning, I want to remind you of all the ways you're crushing it and modeling what it looks like to raise kids who get to see an Emotionally Mature Parent every single day. I cannot stress this enough - we are all making mistakes - but please see the second slide where we apologize to our kids - that is maturity and that is an amazing thing for them to see growing up.

Pat yourself on the back. High five yourself. Remind yourself of all the things you are getting RIGHT, my sweet friends.

Please, with a cherry on top, will you share a parenting win in the comments so I can cheer you on and give you a virtual fist bump? Sending all my love to you today and every single day. I appreciate you.

P.S. Did you know I extended the $10 off on the Connected Kid Collection? Go the link in my bio to check out the parenting products I created just for you to support you on this journey of creating my generational templates for our kids to inherit.

#innerchild #consciousparenting #cyclebreakers #raisingyourself #reparenting #emotionallymatureparents

Leave a 💗 in the comments if this resonates wit

Leave a 💗 in the comments if this resonates with you!

I don't know about you, but I've noticed with myself, that when I'm furious, underneath that rage, I'm usually actually quite scared. Scared that I'm messing up my kids, scared that I'll never break certain patterns, scared of feeling/being disconnected/abandoned by people I love, scared I'll never accomplish the goals I've defined for myself, scared that I'm not acceptable/lovable when I'm at my worst. And that fear, when not given a safe space, turns into rage. Kids are no different.

It is our job to be compassionate detectives with our kids (and ourselves!) to uncover the fear beneath the anger/dysregulation, etc.

When we view kids that way, we are able take their behavior way less personally and remind ourselves that we're on the same team as them. Then, we can take a beat, take a breath, and be the calm, kind leader we want to be for them. It's all about the lenses we're looking through when we view their behavior.

#selfhealers #cyclebreakers #gentleparenting #innerchild #motherwound #consciousparenting #childhood #consciousfamily #unschool #homeschooling #reparenting #raisingyourself

So what do we do instead of timeouts? The first t

So what do we do instead of timeouts?

The first thing we have to do is get our own mindset right: in other words, find our own calm. Easier said than done, I know. 🙂 Finding our calm in the face of being triggered is the product of the inner work I talk about all the time here. It’s a muscle we strengthen every day by unlearning old narratives, taking radical care of our needs, going to therapy, etc.

Second, we must accept and witness our child’s feelings. We’re not accepting the behavior - we’re accepting the feelings behind the behavior and setting the necessary boundaries to keep ourselves/siblings/our child safe.

Third, tune in to what your child uniquely needs to process those tough feelings. Do they need to move their body (jump on a trampoline, shake around etc), have you close by, cry, talk, etc. This is the hardest part for me. I’m sometimes tempted to swoop in and “make it better” when I know that my kid really needs to go through their emotions, not around them with an easy fix.

Lastly, when the dust has settled, talk about what set your child off to begin with. What caused the meltdown/dysregulation/undesirable behavior? Remind them that they’re a good kid (and remind yourself that you’re a good parent) and that sometimes we make mistakes when our needs aren’t met (overtired, angry, lonely, overwhelmed, etc).

This teaches kids that you’re on their side, and how to tune in to their bodies/minds to give themselves (or ask for) what they need. It’s a skill that they’ll need for life and you’re instilling that into them by co-regulating instead of isolating.

One of my favorite quotes on my Connected Kid Cards is “I’m not here to punish you for your mistakes. I’m here to help you learn from them.” It’s so true.

Check out the entire Connected Kid Collection at GetCKC.com or go straight to the link in my bio where you can view all 3 products (cards, activities, reparenting workbook) that come with your purchase.

#selfhealers #cyclebreakers #gentleparenting #innerchild #motherwound #consciousparenting #childhood #consciousfamily #unschool #homeschooling #reparenting #raisingyourself

When we decide to break these cycles of punishment

When we decide to break these cycles of punishment, coercion, and shame in our approach to parenting we are saying to our children: I know you’re a good kid and I am here to help, guide, and teach you as you learn to be a human in this world. I am not here to make you feel bad about your mistakes, I am here to remind you that we all make mistakes and when you mess up, I’m going to help you learn from that experience, not punish you with some arbitrary consequence that teaches you nothing (other than to be afraid of me or be sneakier next time so you can avoid my shame/wrath).

At the end of the day, we must honestly answer this question: do we want the “neat and tidy” blind obedience from our kids so we don’t have to deal with the messiness of their humanity?

OR...do want a real and authentic relationship with them that requires humility on our part and a willingness to confront the messiness of growing up together?

Yea, the ‘neat and tidy’ obedience seems better in the short term, right? But we’re here for the long game, friends. We’re here because in 20 or 30 years we still want to be close to our kids and know that we gave them the respect they deserved from day one.

No, we’re not gonna get it right every time. We’re gonna learn right alongside them. But please trust me when I say, the heartache and frustration and extra time this way of parenting takes is WORTH IT.

If you’re looking for some extra support as you create these new cycles, I created the Connected Kid Collection to help you strengthen your relationship with your child, your inner child, and your adult self. It includes three different products that I know will transform the way you relate to your family. I am heading to the post office today to send this Collection to parents all over the world. I’d love to mail one to you, too! Check the link in my bio!

#cyclebreakers #consciousparenting #innerchild #gentleparenting #raisingyourself #reparenting

Have you ever noticed the types of relationships a

Have you ever noticed the types of relationships and people you've gravitated toward most of your life? Have you ever wondered about the connection between the types of relationships you find yourself in and the type of relationship you had/have with your parents? Are there overlaps/similarities? I realize this is a nuanced conversation and isn't always this black/white, but there's no denying the fact that how your parents related to/accepted you (or didn't) influence the types of people you grow up gravitating toward later in life.

It's such a powerful reminder that the way we love our kids in childhood has the power to stick with them for a lifetime. We're literally wiring their brains for what to expect and what they think they are worthy of in relationships. That's not to say we have to parent "perfectly" and can't mess up - I am definitely not implying that. It's about consistency, repair, and communication.

I want parents to have the tools they deserve to instill this unconditional love and emotional resilience into their children - and into themselves as adults! Because we all know this work comes full circle. If you want some extra support on your parenting journey as you work to break generational cycles, reparent yourself, and strengthen the relationship you have with your child, please check out the Connected Kid Collection at the link in my bio.

With your purchase, you get:

❤️ 50 Connected Kid Conversation Cards
This beautiful and affirming set of 50 physical cards will give you the language, guidance, and confidence to weave love, security, and safety into your child’s heart for a lifetime.

💙 35 Exclusive Online Activities
An exclusive, Connected Kid Cards website, where I’ve carefully and consciously curated all of my favorite, easy-to-implement activities, helping you to reinforce these messages in fun and memorable ways with your child.

💜 Reparenting the Younger You Digital Workbook
This empowering digital workbook is designed to help you gently and purposefully begin connecting the dots between how you were raised and how you parent.

#consciousparenting #innerchild #reparenting #gentleparenting #motherhood #cyclebreakers

Raise your hand if you approached gentle parenting

Raise your hand if you approached gentle parenting this way at the beginning of your journey? 🤚

This was me 12 years ago when I had my first child and I thought I could just white-knuckle my way to being a gentle parent. After all, it’s how I approached most everything in my life. If I worked hard enough and had enough grit, then I could just make it happen. I related to food that way (lots of dieting and restrictions back then), I related to my corporate job back then in that way, I related to sports and grades that way in high school and college and I related to keeping my house tidy that way. My mantra? Suck it up, buttercup. There was no room for “softness” and “ease” in my life. And healing??? Ha, I scoffed. Healing was for the “weak.”

It had “worked” up to that point in my life. Why couldn’t I apply that thinking to being a gentle and conscious parent? Then, of course, I had my first child and that mindset/approach fell apart quickly. And dramatically. Turns out, I couldn’t willpower my way to being, gentle. Go figure. 😆

That’s when I began my reparenting journey. That’s when I began to understand that it was radically important that I make room for softness and healing in my life. And TBH, I’m still unlearning some of that.

But the heavy lifting of parenting consciously is *so* much lighter when we make our own healing a priority. It doesn’t make it easy. But it does make it lighter.

So, if you’re like me and want to skip over all the “fluffy healing” and just B-line it straight to being a “conscious parent” - take it from me - it doesn’t work. There are no short cuts, and if you don’t believe me, your kids will find really creative ways to remind you again and again.

Here’s what I also know: you deserve support on this journey and my Connected Kid Collection will give you the tools you need to strengthen the relationship you have with your kid, your inner kid, and yourself. It’s an empowering bundle of 3 different products that I know will transform your family and bring you the joy in parenting you want to experience. Link is in my bio ⬆️. ❤️

#innerwork #innerchild #consciousparenting #gentleparenting #selfhealers

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